There is a part of me that feels very sorry for people who marry musicians, artists, writers or comedians. When things are happy - it ends up in their work. When things are sad, yup, right there in their work. For all the world to see, which, if you're the creative person, is the point. It's not enough to just FEEL, we have to EXPRESS. The country group, Rascal Flats, has absolutely summed up my feelings right now. A new song, to replace my tainted love song:
I should be out in that driveway stoping you
Tears should be rolling down my cheek and I
don't know why I'm not falling apart like I usually do
and the thought of losing you's not killing me.
I feel bad....
That I can stand here strong, cold as stone, seems so wrong...
I feel bad, that I don't feel bad.
Can you imagine being married to an artist? You stumble by their latest show and there's your picture painted with arrows through your eye, or a foot protruding from your forehead. If you've married an interior decorator, and you come home to find your entire house has been painted pink... she's probably done with you.
I can let myself be angry over wasted time, sad about just throwing
love away.
I almost wish my heart was breaking, but I can't lie
All I want to do is turn the page.
I feel bad, that I don't feel bad.
There's a lot to resolve, so much to do to make two lives out of one. And I do feel bad, that I don't feel bad. Pap has several fine qualities, unfortunately, the deal breaker is his modus operandi.
I feel bad that I don't feel bitter, alone
I just feel that's it time to move on.
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2 comments:
I think painting the whole house pink would so get your point across. I am sorry that you were not respected for your talent and creative life. I am sorry that its gone on so long that your heart is numb to him. Call me I'll pick up the paint!
Lucky for my neighborhood I'm a writer instead of an interior decorator! I get to rant, and gripe and write angst filled prose.
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