Monday, September 11, 2006

The Autumn of a Lifetime

Ever since we had our first chilly morning, I've been obsessed with the phases of a life and just where I am in that grand plan. When I was growing up and women were gossiping about the older man up the street with the young chippy - they'd call it "that May/December romance".

Memories of my life as a kid are always in the pastels of spring- squeaky clean, shiny and new. They're scented with chlorine, wet dog and playground sweat. I remember my late teens and child rearing years in primary colors suffused with neon - hot, ripe, passionate- surrounded by the cloying smell of honeysuckle, lavender and roses in full bloom.

The trees outside my kitchen window are still wearing their lush green canopies, but they're beginning to fade. The green is less vibrant, some of the leaves are edged with brown. The vines in the vegetable garden are looking wilted and have lost most of their leaves. The patio umbrella is faded and drooping, the canvas chairs have permanent bottom shaped dips in them. I look at this sad picture of late summer and remember that in a week or two the garden will be filled with mums, richly shaded in oranges, golds and browns. The trees will glow gold and orange one last time before they drop the leaves for winter. As soon as we have a morning frost, the fading pumpkin vines will shrivel out of sight leaving behind a crop of bright orange pumpkins. That's why I've always loved autumn, it's like a fighter regaining his feet on the 8 count and going on to fight out the round. He may get knocked out in the next round, but for this one he has come up fighting, swinging, punching and putting on one last show.

I feel like I've entered the autumn of my life. My kids are grown and it's the first chance I've had to fully pursue my own interests. There was that period right before Princess graduated from High School that felt like late summer - I was a little faded and droopy, sad and in need of plumping up. A bit scared about what was coming next. It's only this year that I realized after late summer comes Autumn! Another batch of memories to make, this time scented with the smell of hot cider and burning leaves, colored with rich golds, oranges and browns.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Grandgirl Weekend


The house of perpetual remodeling is hopping today. The grandgirls and their mom popped in last night for an early birthday celebration for Breezy (the one on the right) who is turning 7 on Monday.

I wasn't expecting (or planning!) to be a grandmother this early in life, but now that I am I wonder how anyone who gets the little charmers keeps up at an older age. I've already forgotten what it's like to just keep kids fed and watered on a regular schedule. Jazz, the one on the left, has been my gardening buddy since she was toddling. Last month she called me and said "Nana, I'm coming over this weekend, the tomatos are so overgrown I can't even see my tree".
True, I've been a little busy lately, and Pap is supposed to take care of the vegetable garden...

Always when grandgirls mom is here I spend time biting my tongue. I know it serves no purpose to say "how can you make these kinds of life choices? Why can't you see how hard you're making life for everyone around you? What are you thinking when your recklessness results in damage to tiny lives? How do I make you see that a life worth living is lived in honesty, hard work, clean fun and legal behavior?" When I was raising my kids in the 80's, the experts harped on "kids do as you do, not as you say". I believed that and Pap and I set a good example. With this child, it didn't matter. I'm a huge supporter of mentoring, not just for poor kids, or kids missing a parent, but for every kid. Personalities are so diverse that no one person can reach everyone. Grandgirls mom grew up looking at me like I was some super woman living standards she couldn't hope to achieve. A false reality, but her reality. If there had been someone around more like her, more edgy and spontaneous, that was willing to mentor, she might have turned out differently. She's young, only 26, and there's time to change, but only if she wants to. That's the real question.

Today will be spent in board games (Mousetrap is the new favorite) and craft projects - a little calm before the storm of next week's work. Since I missed three opportunities for stories this weekend, I'll need to chase down three new somethings before my Friday deadline. Hmmm.... My desk at the day job looks like a hurricane hit it, so some serious attention to that, all doable.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Meltdown

It was inevitable that this day would come. My schedule has been tottering around like a house of cards for some time, I am not surprised that it crashed today.

I'm supposed to be racing between the Bump, Spike and Dive mud volley ball for charity event and Farm City Day to get stories for the paper. By lunch I'm supposed to be at the museum to hand out writing awards for The Theme is Pottery. The afternoon was planned to be spent talking to Karen at the Armory regarding the consignment shop that's opening, then zipping back to Crooksville for middle grandgirls birthday party (picking up the cake along the way). Somewhere amongst that stuff I needed to finish making ARCs for the reading club and finish my speech for the Professional Women. A day like this is carefully orchestrated, there is no room for spontaneous action, or glitches of any kind.

Big glitch. Pap's car is in the shop for repair so he took mine to work. The backup plan was for me to take Princess to work, do my running around in her car, and then pick her back up right before I picked up the cake. Well, I have discovered it's impossible for me to look presentable in under, oh, about 80 minutes. I woke up 45 minutes before she had to leave. So the entire day is scrapped. Ugh.

Friday, September 08, 2006

A Writer's Talk with Some Artists



Spooky moon still in the sky this morning. I like these crisp fall mornings that warm back up to summer by midafternoon. Pap has my car today since his is in the shop and Princess had to be at work early, so I walked to work (which is what I should be doing every day).

Last night was the speech for the artists. Lots of fun, there are so many of them! I think it went okay, they laughed several times, applauded something I said once and several stayed after to ask questions about either the newspaper or to tell me they were also writers. Zanesville is a funny old city. I've moved around a lot and know that most cities have a personality of some sort. When we moved to Southeastern Ohio fifteen years ago, Zanesville was full of moldering old businesses, derelicts roaming the streets and empty buildings. I worked in a business on Main Street for about a year, so I saw it up close and personal. Then the artists started organizing, Alan Cottrill, the sculpture, moved back and placed a bronze Indian on the roof of his studio, rapidly followed by a parade of bronze characters on the sidewalk. The antique stores started spiffing up, and new businesses moved in. ZAAP and the Artists Colony was formed, followed by several of them taking up residence in the old Armory. The transformation is amazing, and the artists deserve all the credit for both giving the city back a personality and reminding everyone of their proud old heritage as an Art Pottery town.

Among my volumous list of personal beliefs, there are two that routinely march to the top of the list: 1) everyone - regardless of economic or social standing, creed, religion or gender- has the right to own something beautiful that moves them emotionally, and 2) just like dedicated policemen, doctors or bankers, dedicated artists deserve the right to make a living as artists. Getting those two beliefs to meld into a reality requires a dedicated marketing person, and compromise on the part of the artist and the consumer. Why it's worth the effort to work at making these beliefs a reality is best illustrated through evidence of the power art has to make change in the life and heart of a person : (slightly fictionalized to protect the privacy of the couple involved)

In the 1980's Pap and I were Art Consultants for a company in Indiana that also believed everyone deserved to own a piece of beautiful art. They developed a program based on volume that kept the cost of art down while still providing a good income for a motivated and prolific artist. We sold oil paintings, some prints and water colors through home shows called private gallery showings. All very dignified, part show, part art education, part pseudo auction. Pap and I lived near an Air Force base, so we frequently had young GI's at our shows who came for the food, I'm sure, but left with a painting or two ordered.

There was a young man who worked in the motor pool named Buster Yardley who was married to a tiny little girl named Becky who had been hideously disfigured in a fire just a few months after their wedding. Buster had quite a knack for canabilizing one set of cars in order to fix other sets of vehicles making the road leading to their shack on the outskirts of town looking like a graveyard for Fords and Chryslers. GI's being what they are, Buster and his wife were usually referred to as Junkyard and Dog. I'm not sure how Buster got invited to one of our shows, I knew of him, and it was common knowledge that everyone used Buster, but the Yardley's didn't have any friends.

It was a full house that first night I actually met the Yardley's. They sat in the back corner of a room, alone and aparently uninterested until I came to a selection of sea scapes. The first one was just stunning, crashing waves with nearly transparent crests, sunlight dancing off the water across the canvas. When I illuminated it with an art light, Buster came off his chair and moved to the front of the room. He had a million questions, who painted it, where was this beach, how did he do that? They left with a painting ordered for them. Several months passed, I'd see their names on packages being picked up by other consultants, or on sales slips at the gallery. Just before Christmas Buster called and invited Pap and I out to see their "gallery wall".

It was cold that night, with wind whistling across Indiana's flat landscape. Creepy driving through the car carcasses up to the Yardley's little house with the tin roof. Buster opened the door at our knock and led us down the short bare hall to the living room, empty except for two lawn chairs and a TV tray. Once we'd cleared the wall blocking our view of the end of the room, Pap and I were both struck speechless. The Yardleys had collected a group of seascapes and rustics that when assembled together told the story of a life yet to come. Illuminated by up lights arranged on the floor, the viewer was literally swept out of Indiana. A portrait of a mermaid posed on rocks, long red hair flowing over her shoulder and floating on the water, her tail a nicked and scarred series of scales, was prominently placed in the center of the grouping. "Isn't my Becky beautiful, that's just how she looks to me." Buster said pointing to the portrait.

Buster advanced through the ranks like all GI's do, upgrading his housing as he went. When he retired we got a letter from him, postmarked from New Hampshire. It was a short note thanking us for introducing him to oil paintings and explaining that back when he and Becky had nothing, and were struggling to rebuild their life together after the fire, it was the one thing that opened up dialogue between them, and helped him to show her just exactly how he felt and what he dreamed about.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Squirrely Day


I'm fairly certain that I am definately going nuts, this squirrel has been hanging around me all day.

I'm glad this week is nearly over, it's been chock full of bad news of one kind or another. Nothing desperate, just these little annoyances, one on top of the other until you want to gouge your own eyes out. It rained on a holiday, the paper lost two of my stories, my editor won't answer my e-mail, my computer is dieing, my internet connection is screwed up. Isobelle will not leave the beads on the chandelier in my dressing room alone, they are now scattered all around upstairs guaranteeing that I will step on at least one anytime I have to run to the loo in the middle of the night.

We've been talking lately about whether the building I work in is making people sick. I would say it was even if it wasn't... but it's funny how everyone who works here, regardless of their excellent health in the past, just starts falling to pieces. Headaches, flu, and allergy attacks seem to be the biggest complaints, followed by bronchitis. The building was constructed in 1930, it has flooded twice, once in 1950 and most recently in 2004. There's probably some creepy mold mutating and growing in the walls of this old place.

Speech number one tonight... artists. I will be a hero or a goat depending on whether they are open to hearing about a new way of doing things, or totally closed minded.