Gratitude and Wanting More

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Dr. John, one of my favorite bloggers, made this comment on my last post:

I hope this works for you. But is seems to me you have most of what one could want. You have a job you like, wonderful grandchildren that make you feel alive and a great husband.

Gratitude for what you already have is one of the cornerstones of this philosophy, and why it feels so logical to me. I have so very much I'm grateful for, and if I gain not one more thing in my life, I'll still go to my grave feeling like I was blessed at every turn.

But there burns in me a desire to do and serve more.

I do like my job with the publishing company, but it pays nothing right now. We spend what we make on one book, promoting it and publishing the next. If visualizing our little company as a big successful company helps attract opportunities to make just that happen, it helps so many people besides me. My children and grandchildren are the reason my heart sings every day. I want to have the means to insure they have every opportunity to achieve their dreams through education. My husband has worked himself to the bone taking care of all of us. He's battling heart disease and diabetes, he doesn't have many more years to work and he's deserving of more happiness than a poverty riddled retirement. All of these things take more money than we currently make.

I have been a volunteer for several causes for most of my life. Alzheimer's took my father and brother. Cancer has attacked all of my sisters and mother. There are children in my little town with two working parents and still they can't afford to go to the dentist, much less own their own bicycle. Young women who've gone astray and are trying to find their way back into the light need more than just encouraging words. They need education, transportation, an interview suit and money for a babysitter. There are programs to help with these things, but they're always insufficiently funded. I want to help, but I need more money to do that.

I have no need or desire for mansions or expensive cars. The reality Neil and I have created for ourselves right now presents a grim picture for our future. Neither of us has worked at one job long enough to provide a decent retirement income and while we are young enough to turn our fortunes around, I must. Ask and you will receive. So it was written, so it will be. If you believe it.